“All my life I’ve been going around waiting for sth. All my life infact I’ve felt as if… as if I were waiting in a railway station. And I’ve always felt as if the living I’ve done so far, hasn’t actually been real life but a long wait for it, a long wait for something real”
So to my future; the very close beautiful future ahead of me. To tomorrow, the day after, and to the 60 years ahead.
To the achivements that I’ll be reaching soon, and the teeny weeny details that’ll take me there. The future relations I’m going to have, the new people I’m going to meet, the frienships, and my life-bloomers, and all the other lovely gifts that’ll come with them. To every other soul who will come into my life and love me just the way I am, as flawed as I might be, as unaccomplished as I think I am.
To the happy moments that’ll make up for the sad ones, the happy times I’ll cry to, the sad times that’ll wake me up to the things I wasnt paying attention to.
To when I grow into the younger me, where I’ll tell myself I’m beautiful and enough, but believe it with all my heart. When I’ll love myself as if I were a rainbow with gold at both ends. The kind person I will grow up to be, to when I serve what is greater than myself, and give what I have been given. To the lives I will touch and be life changing to. To when I become my own standard of beauty.
To the battles I’m going to win and the ones I’m going to lose but come of confident and fearless, moving mountains the whole way. To finding out my beautiful traits and all the things I’m capable of.
To the woman who no longer hides behind a mask, to deep talks and all other talks that play a note in me, talks that will make me slowly peel out of my skin, and aquire a certain level of vulnerability to expose my fragmented contradictory self, without shame, without fear. To when I’m no longer a war between what I should say and what I want to say.
To when I’m cautious of doing my little bits of good everywhere I go, cause its those little bits of good that overwhelm the world. To the places I’ll travel to alone, to protecting my time and feeding my inner life.
To when I understand to forgive rather than be revengeful and angry, when I no longer hold on to my history cause it’ll be at the expense of my beautiful destiny. To when I stop pretending I’m this average person, cause I wont be.
To everything I want, that is destined to become a beautiful reality.
To inner peace and tranquility.
To all the good in the world and beyond.
To things my mum’ll be proud of, to the things I will be proud of.
To when I become old and frail, a proud mother and grandma. To the life stories I’ll tell my children and the advice I’ll give my daughters. To the love we’ll share. To them.
And to the times in between, before and after; answered prayers, hardships and blessings that’ll bring me closer to God, new suras I will learn, stories that will grow my love for prophet muhammad (pbuh) till I love him more than I love myself. To the time I will enter paradise.
To these fleeting moments, I’m waiting for you at the railway station … with beautiful patience.